getting off my high horses

It was Thursday, September 18th, and after a long day of moving in, the night had finally begun. Greek Row was the scheduled event for the evening where all the fraternities and sororities opened up their houses to potential new members. While getting information on the formal aspect of Greek Life, minds raced contemplating the social scene associated with each chapter. After all, college fraternity parties are notorious and undeniably something most high schoolers look forward to. The anticipation was great while whispers floated through crowds of anxious freshmen inquiring where the party would be that night...

Sooooooooo after asking around, TKE was the house of choice for the night. A group of girls and I approached the house together and made our way to the front porch. The only guy with us was my good friend from high school so we figured our guy:girl ratio wouldn’t receive complaints. We assumed too quickly because just as we were excitedly making our way through the door, we were stopped. 

“Hey who is this guy coming in?” one of the members demanded. 

I turned around with a smile and said, “he’s my friend. What’s the problem?”

“No guys are allowed in,” he firmly replied. “It would be considered dirty rushing if we let him in.”

“What is that????” I asked insistingly. I had never heard of “dirty rushing,” and thus thought it was a made-up excuse. I was convinced that the guy was giving us a hard time solely because he wanted only girls admitted into the house so that the TKE fraternity members would be able to “feast” wholesomely. I bluntly said, “BS” to the fraternity member’s surprise. He wasn’t expecting such defiance. “I’m not coming in unless you let my friend come in, too.” The member would not relent, and my efforts proved to be futile. For once my sass didn’t win me the argument. I didn’t feel right leaving my friend; however, he insisted I should go in with the other girls and enjoy myself. I gave the guy at the door a nasty look and proceeded inside.

The party was upstairs, so as the first one in, I started up the central staircase. Suddenly I heard a voice from behind say, “Woah wait a second!”

I turned around to see another fraternity member at the bottom of the stairs ushering me down and holding back the other girls from following me up the stairs.

“What now???” I asked frustratedly. 

He stated, “only members are allowed on the central staircase. All other non-members must take the back stairs.”

Severely offended, I began bickering, “what!?!?! That’s so ridiculous! Not only did someone make my friend leave at the door, but now this, too?! We’re your guests here and you’re making us go up the back stairs!?!? That’s so wrong!”

Again, my efforts were futile, and we were led to the back stairs. I continued by angry rants up the back staircase and made sure the guy leading us got a piece of my mind. I had taken such great offense. Call me a raging feminist, but at the time I thought it was so degrading. 

  The rest of the night went well, but I still couldn’t believe what had happened at the beginning. I needed to vent to someone, so I called one of my good friends who is a sophomore at UC Irvine. I told her the story, but instead of getting consolation, she gave me a major reality check. 

“Ranna, I can’t believe you made such a fool of yourself. Sororities and fraternities are not a joke, and you need to start taking them more seriously. Dirty rushing is a legitimate excuse for the frat member to refuse your friend’s entrance. The term refers to a version of bribery. The frat does not want to get accused of trying to convince your friend to rush their frat by showing him a good time at a party. Student recruitment is supposed to be done in other, more formal ways. The frat could get in trouble if other frats suspect them of dirty rushing activities. 

As far as the whole ‘central staircase’ issue goes, all I have to say is that you need to get off your high horses. Going up that central staircase is an honor for members. They get that privilege because they put the time and effort into earning the membership to the fraternity. You are not allowed up those stairs because you are simply using the house for a party. I suggest you display more modesty and discretion in your actions from now on.”

I was speechless, and I felt completely humiliated. She was right; I really didn’t give enough credit to sororities and fraternities for being honorary groups. My disrespect towards the fraternity rules and traditions made me seem ignorant and quite frankly, (pardon me) like a bitch. Anyway, I guess part of being in college involves getting stripped of your dignity at some point. I had my shining moment on day one so who knows what’s to come...