I think many people could look at this article and automatically cast it off as something that they see everywhere but couldn't possibly apply to them personally. However as I read through the article I could definitely identify certain aspects that pertained to not only me, but most of my friends. In my opinion, a certain amount of parenting needs to be devoted to pushing your children to succeed to the best of their abilities; whether that can be considered as overparenting is all up to an individual’s perception. I know a fair amount of parents who have succeeded intellectually, financially, and as a result, emotionally. Therefore it seems reasonable to want their children to continue to live under the high standards that the parents have set. Clearly buying an education through excessive tutors and services does not constitute learning, but rather a way of weaseling around “The System.” Of course I know an abundance of parents who are excessively involved in their children’s lives. However I think it’s a little too easy to blame this generation’s ambition and increasing stress and workload on parents. For every parent that has pushed their child into trying something the child resented, I know just as many children who find their drive and need to overwork themselves from within.
One of my friends, in particular, did not come from a family where the parents could afford tutors for their children or extra help on the college application process. Nevertheless, ever since the seventh grade she continually took the most difficult courses that were offered and through an innumerable amount of hours devoted to study and her own drive and intelligence, she graduated as valedictorian of my graduating class. When children are young, I can see how many parents may pressure them into trying many different things and giving the child more than they can handle. However when a child reaches a certain age, that drive to succeed turns from a need to please the parents into their own drive to succeed. I definitely agree with the author of the article when he states that as far as familial problems go, there are worse things than a pushy parent.
You definitely have a point that some kids don't need to be over parented to want to overwork themselves. My sister is the perfect example. She is the kind of person who wants to do everything, be in every club, play every sport, have every hobby, and all the while get straight As. My parents had to do the opposite of what is described in the article. They literally had to say "No" to her doing extra curriculars, sports, and just about everything because she was spreading herself too thin and literally did not have enough time in the 24 hour day to do everything she wanted. She ended up being valedictorian and just graduated from Harvard, so I think everything worked out. The point is, she wasn't doing it to please anyone but herself, similar to your friend.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree with the idea that parents need to, in some cases, encourage or push their children within reasonable limit. You also mention your fried not being able to afford tutors, which raises an interesting point to me - when do you decide if a tutor is worth it or not? If you start too early then they'll hate schoolwork, but too late and they might already be lacking in fundamental skills. Overall though this post helped show that overparenting isn't necessary to be successful in school and beyond.
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